I am a man of words. I believe in the importance of verbal communication, be it electronic, spoken, or written. Okay, so I prefer written or electronic. I have done some public speaking. Rumor has it that I have done it well, but typing is much less terrifying. Ironically, we live in a time of vast amounts of readily available information, and yet the subtle and critical art of written communication seems to be fading. Or, at the very least, it has become less critical. The more connected we are, the less we seem to connect. One need only peruse the internet to see the rampant use of shorthand, abbreviations, emojis and other code with which modern folk speak. And while I have had to use the online Urban Dictionary a few times, simply to understand what was being said, I prefer my old school Oxford English Dictionary (http://www.oed.com/), or the ubiquitous Merriam Webster’s dictionary. Maybe it can be chalked up to a generational divide, but I just don’t get the modern slang. (I really did just make myself seem like an old curmudgeon didn’t I?) And while I try to keep up as best I can in order to remain relevant, there are just some things in modern communication with which I have trouble dealing.
I do not speak in abbreviations. You are not likely to hear me use the phrase “hash tag” when talking. However, I do tweet (@Invictuzzz) and try my best to work with the 140 characters limitation. But that is where it ends. Verbally, I just find it easier to utter the phrase “best friend” than to say “hash tag BFF”. Hash tags are an invention that came out of the need to communicate with limited space owing to the format of Twitter. I have no such limitations when speaking verbally. I am my most eloquent with the language I speak, read and understand fluently.
I prefer complete sentences. If I love you, I will say I love you. “I heart you”, to me is a phrase that needs a verb. Sending me a message such as, “wyd” is likely to earn the response, “I don’t know what that means”.
I am not a fan of making up words. A good friend of mine once told me that she needed “huggles”. I asked her what she meant. And while I get it, it was an adorable sentiment. She could have just as easily saved some time and told me she wanted some supportive, physical human contact.
Sure, I text, who doesn’t? But I prefer one on one conversation. I prefer to express myself through words. (Hello, I’m writing a blog) My closest family and friends know that I prefer to just talk. A text is a brief heads up. It’s a tool used to convey information briefly, until we can actually talk face to face.
Now, as I have chosen this format from which to speak with the world, I want the world to know that I do firmly believe in words. And yet words, in and of themselves, have no meaning. Meaning is often agreed upon by the speakers and receivers of words, but the words alone, outside of common language, do not stand on their own. Merriam’s defines language like this;
(n): the system of words or signs that people use to express thoughts and feelings to each other
For me to communicate to you, we must agree on the words used. Or at least, you need to understand the words I am using, and what I mean when I use them. One of the hidden benefits of a Catholic school education was that my studies of Latin (and a little Greek) afforded me the opportunity to dabble in some etymology. I don’t just use words; I like to know their history whenever possible. I also like to share what I know with others. Thus, I will here list some words that I will use often. These are words that sometimes get certain connotations put on them. They are connotations to which I do not always subscribe. These are the weapons I will use in my crusade to have my opinions heard. Unless noted, all definitions are taken from (www.m-w.com).
-Black (adj)- of or relating to a race of people who have dark skin and who come originally from Africa
I am Black. This blog is entitled “Black Sex Geek”. I have medium to light brown skin and dark, naturally curly black hair. I, like my parents before me, am a person of color. And while I am a born American citizen, I DO NOT refer to myself as an African American. It’s just not for me. For one thing, it has too many syllables and letters. (Check out American Poet and songwriter Smokey Robinson on this topic. https://youtu.be/iIkNsj6cDGc?list=PLF0AF783F6505FCB0)
Black is easier. It is a descriptive, one that I am quite comfortable using. If “Person of color” or “African American” makes you feel better or if they have a more politically correct flavor to you, I will respect that. For my part, I am a Black American. I am a proud Black American. I belong to the black community in America. Also, as a side note, black is my favorite color. Go figure.
-Fat (adj) – : 1) having a lot of extra flesh on your body: having a lot of body fat: having a full, rounded form: unusually wide or thick
(Personally, I prefer) 2) a: well filled out: thick, big <a fat book>
b: full in tone and quality: rich <a gorgeous fat bass voice — Irish Digest>
c: well stocked <a fat larder>
d: prosperous, wealthy <grew fat on the war — Time>
e: being substantial and impressive <a fat bank account>
I am fat indeed. Given the time, I will write at length about my views on being fat in a fat-hating world. For now, know that I am fat and have always been fat. For my entire life, I have been a fat ass. No, you will not look at me, call me fat, and hurt my feelings. It is not a derogatory, it is a descriptive.
Every bully, dickhead, asshole, douche nozzle, abuser or barbaric troll I have ever run across has tried to hurt me using the label, fat (or fat ass, lard ass, blubber butt, you name it). Basically, they wanted my beautiful big, soft, and substantial build to be my weakness. It is not. Furthermore, I will NOT accept fat as an insult. I have known, loved, befriended and admired way too many fat people to ever consider it an insult. Thus, in the tradition of other descriptive words in the language, I hereby declare that I am re-appropriating the word. Much like the LGBT community successfully took back words like queer, homo, dyke and fag, I am taking fat as mine. It belongs to me and my plump brothers and sisters around the world who have gorgeous non-bony bodies. For them, and for any who support us, I say now, unequivocally; I AM A BIG GORGEOUS FAT ASS AND I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THE ONLY BODY I WAS GIVEN.
-slut (n) – a promiscuous woman. [promiscuous (adj) – having many or more than one sexual partner]
According to this definition, I can’t be a slut as I am not a woman. (Thanks patriarchal privilege!) But no, I am owning this one. I have had more than one sexual partner. In fact, I have had many (some more than once and few at one time). So yes, I AM A SLUT. I do not consider ‘slut’ to be a derogatory. Again, it is a descriptive. A descriptive that I am proud to employ and share. I like this word and use it a great deal, both in my writing and in speaking. It is not uncommon to hear me say things like “this is my favorite slut”, “we are adults, it is okay to be sluts as well”, and “I prefer the company of admitted sluts, they tend to be more honest”.
-pervert (v) – to change (something) so that it is no longer normal
(n)- A person who has been perverted; spec. a person who has forsaken a doctrine or system regarded as true for one thought false
-geek (n) – a person who is socially awkward and unpopular: a usually intelligent person who does not fit in with other people
Yes I am intelligent and don’t always fit in with others. I wouldn’t say that I’m socially awkward, more like socially wary, and cautious. I am an introvert by nature. So yeah, I wear the geek title proudly.
There you have it. Those are some of the words I use freely that tend to get strong responses. I am nowhere near as malicious as I may seem when I use them. I don’t set out to hurt feelings. But I don’t pull punches either. Welcome aboard. You have been warned.